Couples' Therapy with Samantha Hunt

What is couples therapy like with me?

Couples counseling can feel overwhelming and scary at first. A lot of couples I see come in with a fear that therapy will be an attack towards them or their partner. You might even have questions about the effectiveness of couples counseling or if you will feel validated and understood. My goal as a therapist is to make you and your partner feel safe and validated.

My role in couples counseling is to focus on the relationship. When I am working with you the goal is to find acceptance and understanding for each partner's perspective. I will work to help establish healthy boundaries in your communication as well as provide education and skills that can help you reconnect.

First session expectations: The problem will not be fixed after one session. I know that can be frustrating to hear especially after being in pain or gridlock for so long. The goal of the first session is to get background on your relationship and explore what it looked like before the conflict. I might also ask you to discuss a problem to see how you interact in conflict and what roadblocks might be occurring. I will go over the tenets of the Gottman approach as well as how I integrate relational needs and values into my work with couples. I will go over the four horsemen, which are conflict patterns in communication. We will reflect on whether any of those patterns are present in your conflict. We will end the session with where you are currently and what you need to heal.

Remainder of treatment: My therapy approach is goal oriented. Each session we will identify a goal to focus on for the week. In couples counseling it is important to practice skills outside of therapy to see the most progress. Homework is not required, but I find the couples who do the homework have a more successful outcome. Each week we will focus on working through the goals identified in the first session. Couples counseling looks different for each couple. During treatment I might identify patterns or horsemen and work with you to re-frame the thought in the moment.

When to end treatment? Like my approach with individuals in couples counseling, we are looking for progress towards goals and ability to use skills outside of therapy. We may even set new goals if current goals are met. Sometimes I may assess that couples counseling is not appropriate at the current time. There can be different reasons for this, if this is the case, I will work to refer you to a different couple’s therapist or investigate finding you referrals for individual counselors. My goal is for you to feel confident in yourself and your relationship, and that you have tools to enrich all your relationships when our journey is over.